I Went to a Funeral the Other Day...
Posted by MB Darrow on June 22nd, 2007
I recently attended the funeral of a man that I knew. I always knew him to be kind, helpful and friendly. He battled long and hard with an illness that in the end, took him… But all that is not too unusual, as many pass from this world in this way.
What was amazing is that a guy, who worked at a neighborhood grocery store for nearly 30 year had 1500 people at his funeral. 1500 PEOPLE!! As incredible as it was for this non-assuming man to have a standing room only crowd to wish him goodbye, was the person after person that got up and shared words about how this humble man helped them, encouraged them and gave of himself to them. He was a volunteer at his kid’s school, his church and his community and in the end…it seemed he touched everyone he met and an unexpected multitude came out to wish him farewell.
It seems at times, in this virtual world, some get caught up in the pettiest of things, being critical, stretching the truth and sometime even doing things with bad intentions. I sat at that funeral and wondered if I was more like the man laying in the casket or like those in the world that are petty and of ill character. I wondered how many people would honor my passing and if I would leave a lasting legacy anywhere close to the one this wonderful man did…
I guess the only thing that matters is what I chose to do from here on out…and I choose to be kind and helpful, friendly and giving, courteous and trustworthy. I choose to leave the pettiness to the petty, the criticism to the critical and the ill will to those with bad intentions. In the end, it seems that success built on poor character is fleeting. Hopefully, if I follow the example of this man, along the way, I can pick up a couple extra well wishers at the end and leave a memory worth remembering.
June 22nd, 2007 at 7:32 am
But did they ever thank him so much when he was ALIVE?
You may see this as something grand, but I see it in a different light… how awful for people to wait until AFTER the last minute, imagining that some spirit or ghost or detached consciousness is watching them make up for being late in their expressions of gratitude or praise.
I, on the other hand, am thinking about a funeral I will have to attend in the near future.
Sure, the man isn’t dead yet and he certainly has a lot of piss and vinegar in him to keep him going despite being in his mid-80’s, but nobody lives forever. His day will come. Probably during a Nielsen Sweeps Period, knowing him and those who pay him.
Yes, the man has done some wonderful and great things for the community, leveraging his fame to benefit The Screwed By The System.
Not just the poor. Not just the needy. Not just the unlucky, unfortunate, and damaged.
No, he helps The Screwed By The System.
He puts on his white wig, blue glasses, white suit, and biggest smile and gets out there with his crew and untangles the mess that’s got these people so screwed by red tape and petty bureaucrats.
He can’t keep doing it forever, even though it seems though he will. His funeral will be humongous. Cameras, reporters, and likely the comic celebrity who played him in that best little old movie made about the event that sprung him into fame and fortune.
And yet, unlike many of those folks there, I know what’s happened behind the scenes.
I know the ingratitude, cruelty, frailty, and viciousness there.
I know the *real* saints behind the man, the two long-suffering people he utterly depends on to keep the act and acts of kindness up,
People who *know*, they will take a moment from the scripted congratulations and thanks and memories and stories, and they will take the time to thank these two people.
If they haven’t done so already. A thousand times over.
While they’re still ALIVE.
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I challenge all of you to take moment, reflect, and thank someone for something today. Someone that you haven’t thought to thank.
I’ve got an old friend on speed-dial that I’m going to call at lunchtime. Someone I haven’t talked to in a long time.
I owe a lot to him.
And I’m going to tell them that, and how grateful I am.
Because I sure as hell won’t wait for his funeral to do so.
(And thank you, MB, for reminding me to thank them.)
June 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 am
Based on the testimonials from the attendees and the tremendous support this man and his family received during his illness, it seems the ‘thank yous’ were in abundance. But you make a great point, say “thank you” now, before it is too late.
June 24th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
And I sure won’t forget the times I had something done for me or I did something for someone else, that a simple thank you is all I need or give with a smile of course, and to really mean it either way to each other is in fact a thank you in its own right!!! Thanks MB!!!!